And now, we’re about to have our collective nose rubbed in the aggregate goo as it appears that this impossibly glamorous pair are going to wedding one off all over each other.
You can buy a hat, but there’s absolutely no chance of you being invited, unless Sir Elton John is reading this, in which case, bring us back some cake wrapped in a cheap napkin please or we’ll have to tell everyone that awful, awful secret of yours.
It would seem that Brangelina (or Jitt, if you prefer) are thinking about tying the knot (which knot? We’ve yet to see a knot at a wedding! Unless it means the knot in the stomach of attending mistresses and ex-lovers still hung-up on the bride or groom).
Why? Something to do with their stupid children probably (called Maddox, Zahara, Pax, Shiloh, Vivienne and Knox, sounding like a range of lifestyle electrical goods).
Brad says, seemingly unrelated initially:
“There are no secrets at our house. We tell the kids, ‘Mom and Dad are going off to kiss.’ They go, ‘Eww, gross!’ But we demand it.”
Does that sound like a euphemism for ‘Hey, kids! Don’t come knockin’ as the bed’s about to be rockin” to anyone else? If that’s the case, they’re going to have some delightfully warped children.
On marriage, Pitt and Jolie have said that they wouldn’t marry until gay people could do so legally… however…
“The kids ask about marriage. It’s meaning more and more to them. So it’s something we’ve got to look at.”
Or, y’know, just do what every father should do and thrash them with a belt and send them to bed for even daring to talk without raising their hand first.
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